What I hope to teach my child

So tonight for the first time ever I preformed my poetry at the open mic night at Rito's Coffee.  I was terrified and almost didn't do it but was talked into it by a lot of my friends so I went up and read after I sang with my dad and it actually was kind of a hit.  The owner (Ryte herself) took my copy and wants to put it on their facebook page which I thought hilarious.  It even brought my dad to tears so I thought it was worthy of my blog so here ya go.

Dear Child,

I am writing this to you at the precarious age of 18

so that some day in the very distant future

where you exist and I have forgotten

all of what it means to be young

I can give this to you.

In the hopes that maybe my younger self

can teach you the things

that only youth and recklessness can.

So maybe on those days when you feel like I’m more of a mom

and less of a person

you can read this and remember

that though it seems impossible now

I was in fact, young like you once.

So here are the ten basic things I hope to teach my child

from mom at age 18.

1.)Life is not fair; it does not have to be.  Bad things happen to good people for no reason, and bad people get away with bad things it just the way it is.  But don’t let that discourage you because, it makes everything you accomplish by your own hand, that much greater.  There is no luck, only you. Be proud of that.

2.)Be kind no matter what. Not because the ones you are nice to will return it, in fact no one is saying you’ll get anything in return. In fact you may go totally out of your way to be kind and thoughtful to everyone and life may just spit back in your face, but that’s not the point.  The point is you added something to this world that made it a little bit better than it was before.  And that, my dear, is the point.

3.)There will be some people who will love you no matter what, so pee with the door open when you feel like it, fall apart when you need to, and know there will be someone to love you when it gets ugly, its called family.

4.)There is no worse pain than… stepping on a Lego, so you can survive any heartbreak that life throws your way because nothing will be as bad as that stupid Lego under your foot.

5.)Your teachers will tell you to be realistic; your friends will say you’re dreaming, your father will tell you to get your head out of the clouds. But I, I am your mother.  I will believe you can do anything as I rightfully should.

6.)I will believe in all your crazy dreams.  Dream big and far and wild and impossibly.  Because if you don’t you will grow old with regret and not the good kind, it is better to say, “why did I do that?” than “what if I did”

7.)Fall in love ALL THE TIME!  It doesn’t make love any less, but life more. Helen Keller once said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” The way I see it, it is better to have gone through a million heartbreaks than to never feel love at all (and if you don’t believe this refer back to my comment about the Lego).

8.) Be stupid; be as stupid as you can NOW, so you can learn from it.

9.)I promise you if you get knocked down by your own stupidity, I will be there to pick you up no matter what.  I may slap you in the back of the head first, but then I will offer my hand and say, “I know, I’ve been there.”

10.)Understand that endings happen.  Life is perpetual endings and beginnings.  And its okay to be sad, its ok to mourn an ending, it is ok to miss things; but baby, don’t you dare waste your time missing something that is never going to miss you back.

I lied when I said, I hoped to teach you ten things because this list is never ending,

I am still learning,

and there is still so much I wish to teach you if I thought you would listen to me,

but I know you won’t. 

And that’s ok!  Some lessons must be learned on your own,

through scars, bumps, and bruises. It’s the beauty of living, to know we’re alive.

Never stop learning;

I cannot wait to find out all the things you will teach me without even knowing it.

We might not see eye to eye,

we may fight over spilt Lego’s,

who you’re dating,

or me trying to warn you about mistakes you’re just going to have to make for yourself, 

and I’ll just have to be okay with that,

it comes with the territory.

And I know the day will come when you fall

I will instinctively reach out to pick you up

My Mom and I when I graduated high school

and you will say, “Mom! I can do it myself!”

I will watch you pick yourself up

dust yourself off

and be just fine

all on your own

and I will smile

because in the end that is really what I want to teach you

Love, Mom